Over the summer, I lost about 35 pounds and since being in school, I’ve lost a total of 42 pounds. So it was a shock I guess for some of my classmates that I returned from summer much thinner than I was before.
Well, there’s this girl I used to be good friends with, B, but drifted away from over the past year. I can’t completely avoid her because we’re in a small program together, and we’re part of the same small group, so I have to see her multiple times a couple days a week.
B has made comments about my weight loss in the past like “I’m glad you’re finally taking care of yourself,” which is true, but I don’t need her pointing it out like that. Especially because she comes off at very condescending at best. In the car the other day on our way to small group, I off handedly mentioned I hoped we were inside because I was really cold.
Background, I typically run really hot, and I still do. I had pneumonia when I was younger and I get horrible hot flashes and have just generally struggled to maintain my body temperature after that. I also have family history of thyroid disease, so it’s also partially that I think. And lastly, I was just so big (gained ~60 pounds during the pandemic and in the years after it) that I couldn’t regulate my body temperature and was always really hot.
B looks at me after I mention that I’m cold and says “what?” And I said that I think it was partially because I lost weight, but that I still prefer to be cold most times, it was just that day where I was struggling. She says, with conviction “so now you know how I feel.”
Most of her comments I’m able to brush off and not be too hurt by, but that one was crappy. She’s very skinny. She is the type of person who has never had to struggle with her weight and can just go to the gym for the dopamine rush then leave. It just hurts that this girl I used to call my best friend can be so cruel and no one else sees it.
My family is appropriately appalled, but I don’t feel comfortable telling our shared friends or small group members because I don’t want to color their opinion of her. I don’t want to be the person that ruins someone else’s relationship with her. I like to think I’m being the bigger person, but it’s really hard sometimes. Thanks for reading, I just needed to get that off my chest.
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