Hello everybody. So I'm 20 kg overweight (which may sound like not a big deal, but I get really, really dismorphyc about it) and no matter how much I try, I cannot lose it.
I tried to maintain calorie deficit and track calories at least 3 times this autumn, but about 3-4 days in I lose to compulsive thoughts and hunger, overeat a lot, become very sad about it and give it up. I cannot stand the hunger at all.
I have a really high appetite, eat much more than my family members (otherwise I feel hungry and anyway overeat), also I have OCD and ADHD so I'm very familiar with compulsive thoughts and lack of impulse control. I also have crippling addiction to caffeine, drink coffee up to 5 times per day + energy drinks almost every day.
Only things that worked for me so far are 1) drink coffee with sweeteners instead of sugar and 2) avoid grocery stores at all.
I'm very depressed about it at this point, I feel like some heroin addict, but my heroin is food and caffeine, I have no idea how to overcome this vicious circle of undereating and then overeating. At this point I guess I will soon just do amphetamines to not feel hungry.
Is there some other drugs that kills one's appetite? Btw I use estrogen for transition and will probably start SSRIs for psychiatric diagnoses soon, if that matters.
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