So, this past year I successfully lost 80lbs and maintained it for almost a year now. I became a long distance runner/overall healthy individual and as a result I stopped counting calories and focused more on intuitive eating. It’s been working well thus far…
However, I just received bad news and I am having a bad time responding to it. For the past week I’ve let myself go both mentally and physically. I don’t even know how many calories I’ve been eating but I feel horrible physically. My stomach hurts, I’m bloated, I’m lethargic, my bowel movements are all inconsistent which is very uncommon for me, and I feel horrible on my runs.
I am still running and being active as a means to help me take my mind off things. It’s helped, but it hasn’t stopped me from my urge to gorge myself to the point my stomach is in pain and I just end up crying while like a bunch of empty wrappers and containers are in front of me.
I was 140lbs and now I’m 152, which is probably a combination of water retention and genuine weight gain. But I’m more upset of the fact that it’s affecting my athletic performance, as I am supposed to participate in a marathon next month. It’s been something I’ve been working towards since I’ve started my fitness journey and I feel like I’m sabotaging everything I’ve worked so hard far
I know that I’m eating to feel something and it’s only been a week and each day is a new day. I’m going to clean my room, go for a run, and take a long shower. I’m going to look for new outlets instead of food. But it’s so much harder to do than say.
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