i need help

Hi everyone. My whole life i’ve been bigger, it’s made me the target of ridicule my whole life. I’ve never been looked at as anything other than that fat guy. I’m not joking, quite literally people do, i’ve been bullied by bosses at my first job because maybe i’d be a better person for being skinnier and maybe i would have some motivation if i wasn’t so fat. At a new job i started talking to someone and it ended fast. But quickly we tried regaining the spark and during that time i decided to lose weight. In 4 months, i went from 412, to 330. No exercise, just eating 1500 or less calories. Some days i wouldn’t eat, Most days I would eat 1 unhealthy meal for lunch that was less than 1500 calories and that’s it for the day. It’s been 4 months since i lost all that weight, 4 months ago that all stopped with the person. As of today i currently weight 323, i have since dropped some weight but I haven’t done it on purpose. I eat what i want and drink zero calories soda all day and that’s it. Please please, what can i do to break this addiction, it’s so hard. I just wanna lose weight and be normal for once in my life, i feel like i’ve missed out on so much of my life and it hasn’t even really began yet. I can’t shake this feeling of being a loser. If someone knows how to stop this addiction please respond.

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