Ashamed by myself because of gaining weight

I was skinny for most of my life until I started going to the gym & eating more. I built a decent amount of muscle but then I really fell off going to the gym. I quit nicotine as well which was an appetite suppressant for me and switched anti depressants. I’m not overweight but I feel disgusting when I look at myself. My clothes don’t fit the same, everything I wear looks awful on me. My friends are all small and I look giant next to them. I’m trying to lose weight and go to the gym more often, but it’s a slow process. I have a history of eating disorders so I try not to count calories because it genuinely sends me into a spiral.

I feel like I’m wasting my life because I hate the way I look. I’m in that stage where I want to be trying to find someone to settle down with but I feel like my weight holds me back

submitted by /u/rose156x
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