F/30/5’5” SW: 144, CW: 133, GW: 125
I just wanted to thank this community (which I have lurked on for many a month) for inspiration and to share how I have come from excuses regarding my body and activity level to just completing my first ever 5 mile run! Sorry this is long; I’ve never really expressed this journey in words before and I wanted to get it out.
I have been “trying to lose 5-10 pounds” ever since I was 15. I did CICO to little success in high school, went from 135 to 150 during college, lost it all from rather unhealthy eating habits right after, ballooned up again during law school, and since that time have stayed between 140 and 145 - about 20 pounds over where I wanted to be. During this time I would half-heartedly try to exercise, but I was always weaker or slower than my friends in the same Pilates classes or cycling classes or runs we did together. I had an unshakeable faith that I “just am not good at exercise and that won’t change” and because of that faith I gave myself excuses that it was pretty impossible to ever lose the extra poundage. And, I rationalized, I was not technically “overweight” for my height, so what could it matter?
I hadn’t realized how this was affecting me mentally until wedding season began. All of a sudden I was in tons and tons of pictures at my friends’ weddings and I hated every one of them. I was very discouraged at not being happy with my own body but was entrenched in this idea that I couldn’t do a single thing to change it.
Last July, a friend of mine began to eat less carbs and he had great success losing weight. I thought hey, this is something I haven’t tried, why don’t I go low carb?
It worked! By September, I had lost around 5 pounds. But this is where the magic really started. Having realized I could actually get below 140 for the first time in years, maybe I could actually exercise also right? I started hitting the elliptical, doing some weights, making small exercise goals. The entire time I was telling myself well you’re not good at this so you can make really low personal goals and if you fail it doesn’t matter. I continuously gave myself outs, but I was improving slowly.
The exercise I’ve always hated the most is running. I think the fastest mile I had run even in high school was 13 or 14 minutes, and I felt humiliated that my classmates were doing 6, 7, 8 minute miles. But one day in November I thought, hey, maybe I can learn to run a single 12 minute mile - nothing more, because I couldn’t do more. It took me a few weeks but I did it! Then, shockingly, I ran an 11 minute mile. Then on Christmas I ran a 10 minute mile and then kept running. The second mile was 12:30 minutes.
All of a sudden, it clicked. It’s not that I’m bad at exercise. It’s that exercise is a mental thing as much as eating properly or achieving goals in your career. You have to want it and you have to go after it. NO ONE IS NATURALLY BAD AT EXERCISE. Some of us just enjoy it less, or think more poorly of ourselves, or haven’t tried hard before. (And some people are naturally good at certain things, but we don’t have to compare ourselves to them!)
That Christmas I decided I’m going to ACTUALLY TRY and become “good at running”. I signed up for a half marathon in May and I have been devoting time and effort towards training, as well as eating healthier and drinking less alcohol because those also influence training. I started CICO a couple of weeks ago as well.
Today, I ran 5 miles at a 12 minute pace. 3 months ago I thought running a single mile at that pace was the pinnacle of what my body could do. Now I’m going to get to that 13.1 mile goal!
My advice is this: If you’re telling yourself you can’t do it, you might be lying to yourself. Exercise is a mental game. Maybe it’ll take you longer to get to that milestone than the person next to you, but you can get there! Just set those goals little by little by little but never forget they are in fact achievable. (Obviously this does not apply if there is a health reason you cannot run certain distances or do certain exercise. I don’t mean for this advice to apply in all situations.)
My motto while running is: “If I can run 3 miles, I can run 13.” While it doesn’t make logical sense, it just makes me remember that a short time ago I didn’t think I could ever run 3 miles. If I can get past that mental hurdle I can get past the next.
Tl;dr: Thought I was naturally bad at exercise. Realized telling myself that was holding me back from achieving perfectly reasonable goals. Now gonna kick ass at a half-marathon in May.
Edit: Found a typo and changed some wording
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