I was a fat baby and a chubby child. I was 145 at 5'5 as a freshman in high school, and by the end of my senior year I was 158 at 5'5. While I was never "obese", I always felt fat and uncomfortable in my skin. I never wore shorts or skirts, and wore the same dark pants and shirts that covered me every-time I went outside. It didn't help that I went to a small private school, where I was definitely one of the fattest girls in the entire school.
My weight held me back from so many things. I avoided going to parties because I couldn't find a dress or embarrassed of my legs, I was convinced boys were making fun of me when they showed any interest, I was even afraid to go to the mall with my friends since they were all so much thinner than me and I felt embarrassed. I would go to Greece every summer and hide my body in the heat. Meanwhile, BOTH my parents would constantly comment on my weight. My dad traveled alot and would tell me "it's not good to have that extra weight at your age". He is skinny and his ENTIRE side of the family are basically stick-insects. My mom grew up skinny, and her parents are skinny, but she got fat over the years. Not obese, but definitely overweight. She called me fat CONSTANTLY growing up, while continuing to serve us white pasta with oily sauce and garlic bread almost every day, or frozen french fries with frozen nuggets, or let us order out pizza or chinese. She would pack me MASSIVE packed lunches when I was in primary school (sometimes three sandwiches filled with preanut butter) and additional snacks). We never ONCE had vegetables- not even joking. I didn't even try brussel sprouts until this year (I am 19 now). We also went out to restaurants multiple times a week, where we ordered burgers, fries, and soda, or my mom would take us to McDonalds or the candy store. It makes it worse since she KNEW how embarrassed I was of my extra weight, yet she ridiculed me for it and called me fat, ugly, lazy, and stupid. My other sisters were chubby too, only my brother was thin. She drove me to school one morning and said "Look, that girl has a fat-ass, just like Ellie". Just to be cruel since she was mad at me for being late.
Anyway, since I've been in college I started at 155 pounds at 5'5, and now I'm down to 127 pounds at 5'5. I also fixed all my nutritional issues, since I was anemic growing up. I realized how easy it was for my mom to feed us healthy foods, yet she never did. She was a stay-at-home mom with a wealthy husband, so there is really no excuse for her failing to prepare a healthy meal. Instead she stocked the cabinets with chips, cakes, cookies, ice cream and chocolate and she made pasta or frozen french fries every day. I should mention the frozen fries were put in a frier, not even in the oven, so I'm surprised I wasn't obese as a child. I think being active was the only thing that saved me from being a total whale. I still resent her for this. I know I'm still young (19), but I feel like I missed out on alot. Now that I am 127 lbs I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin, feel like I can wear what I want, and don't feel ashamed in public anymore. I don't understand why my mom let me get fat, ridiculed me for it, and offered me no help to change my situation (when she knew how I felt). My younger sister still lives with her, and I feel sorry for her. I think it would have been easier to cope with if I went to a larger school or something, because 5'5 145 isn't THAT big, but I was honestly one of the fattest girls in my school growing up, and it made me feel so depressed. It stopped me from going out or wearing what I wanted. It makes me mad that my parents would call me fat and blame me when they continued to feed me absolute junk, fast food, and take us to restaurants constantly.
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