When I was in high school, it would take hours for my parents to pick me up because of work. Most of my healthy habits came from this, because I'd wander around a half mile long circle for hours each day. I'd probably hit over 4-5 miles of walking simply because I was waiting for my parents, listening to music and just... disassociating. It was like a weird coping mechanism, I think.
When I got to college, I made a group of friends and stopped wandering. I had people to sit with until I got picked up (got into a bad car crash that gave me driving anxiety for a few years despite being of age). Now in a 4 year university as an online student and working an office job, I find myself absolutely bored with walking now. When I get done with work, despite sitting half the day, I want to lay down.
I can't seem to dissociate the same way I had before, and can't find interest in wandering. At the gym, I can ride a bike for 10 minutes before I'm feeling bored and almost sleepy and I'm lucky if I can reach 20 minutes on the treadmill.
I go to Planet Fitness because it's the only gym in my area, and I thought it'd be perfect for me being a low-end gym. Since there's all walks of life there, I figured it would be the easiest for me to not feel embarrassed being 180lbs. And it worked! I don't feel anything, and don't really even notice anyone else.
But that made way for my new problem of pure boredom. Podcasts, audiobooks, YouTube videos, movies... none of it keeps me engaged. I'm just... bored. It's like this weird boredom, though, where my face feels heavy and my mind feels numb. But my bones feel all sorts of tense and twitchy. Like it's desperately craving some kind of mental stimulation.
So... my question is... what keeps you engaged at the gym? Or perhaps, how do I keep myself engaged? Am I not doing intense enough workouts? Is there specific music or videos I should be listening/watching? Anyone with adhd have any tips? Or maybe my body is craving something other or more than walking?
I don't know, but I desperately want to be the people who can just... be at the gym for hours. I want to make the gym my hobby, if that makes sense?
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