I resolved to lose weight and I am 10lbs heavier than the start of the year. 140 lbs I hate to even admit. Looking at my logs feels so awful, the weight gain journey is 90% documented. Hard to keep up faith in myself recently. The most embarassing part of it is I am out eating the +15,000 step average I have maintained. THAT IS CRAZY OF ME. Not out running a bad diet has never been more true. My bad choices outweigh the real changes I have actually incorporated. Worse yet I was a healthy weight before too and I miss it dearly. I swear that I try to be in a deficit everyday when I wake up. Yet in the moment I will log, go over, know my choice is not helpful, legit think to myself, “hmm there is an incongruence here” and eat anyways!!! LIKE??? I just can’t get myself to stop doing fat habits. It makes me ashamed to even claim I am “trying” in the first place. I’ll give myself grace being 4’10” is a harsh hand to be dealt weightloss wise. Put me in a weight gain competition and I’d blow the competition away with ease. I could use any help and encouragement you all have to spare because my well is running dry. I have no one to blame but myself and feel just god awful and in tears over imagining all the progress I missed in 6 months.
edit: i forgot the word count guys im just adding splashes more detail, no worries. okay i hope it is good now but idk how to tell.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/MJ0Vwl6
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