Things to do and why to do them:
People say you can drop 0.5 Kg a week if you maintain a decent calorie deficit and work out (Heck you don't even need to work out, but you should for this to happen). So had you started and kept consistent even 2 years ago, that is roughly 40 Kg’s dropped. You would be your dream weight. But then why can’t you commit to it?
Maybe because the love of the delicacies and distractions that bring you short term gain is too convenient to push away. Everytime you indulge in your snacking habits, you are pushing the goal post and you are fine with the cost.
What you need to understand and internalize deeply is perhaps that there is a very simple concept at play here. Your brain will lie to you. It tells you in those moments of weakness that you do not care. That the harm indulging in these habits does not outweigh the opposite of doing so. But it does. It does, it does!. You know that it does.
How so? Let's think about it for a second. What is the biggest reason that you think you are stuck? If you really think about the root cause of it all, you’d maybe realize that it's your confidence. It’s you thinking that you do not know what is best for you. Which is why you look towards others for approval. And why not? They take care of their bodies better than you, they know how to look out for themselves better than you, they have more energy thus sparing some/most of it trying to better their position in this world. It comes a lot easier to them than it does to you. You on the other hand get drained from performing simple tasks. So you choose to settle for the ease of life because at least over there, you have created a false sense of security that you do not need to do any more to excel in life. Whereas the truth is, you are seeing people rise above from behind you. Why is that? Did they realize how to fix themselves before you? Were they not as stubborn as you to realize where the problem actually is?
You yourself are your biggest enemy. Every morning you wake up, you choose to settle for what this life is rather than doing anything to push it towards where you wish it would be and don’t lie to yourself, there is somewhere else you’d rather be. Do you think change happens instantly? Maybe it does, but not this kind. This kind of change requires faith and persistence. The payoff? The payoff is that the results are guaranteed and consistent. You won’t wake up every day feeling like anything has changed. But a few months from now, you’d realize how far you’ve come. That is what is worth fighting for.
I mentioned seeking other people's approval earlier. I want to dive a bit deeper into it now. Every gathering you go to, every wedding you attend, every social interaction, do you ever think maybe you are the best one there? I don’t think so, I think if anything, maybe it starts on the opposite end. Why would you? You see all these people doing things in their lives that society thinks are good milestones to have. You however aren’t even close to it. So naturally, your lack of self esteem kicks you in the gut and makes you feel worthless. But just exactly how much would that perception change had you not fumbled your journey and kept pushing the goal post? How many more times do you have to feel that way before depression finally takes complete hold of you? Maybe you’re drumming up an excuse right now thinking “oh wait, maybe depression always has control over me, so now I am completely doomed and I should just stop trying”.
Nah, nah nah nah, shut the fuck up. That is a sorry excuse your brain is conjuring up just so you can give yourself an excuse to throw in the towel again. What exactly is so hard about changing the choices you make every day now? To make better ones? Is it the lack of comfort and annoyance of doing something for which you have no faith in yourself to see it through? Everyone feels that! But they do it anyway because they pushed through the part where it was annoying for them and reached the part where it's a part of their routine.
Habits become routine, let that sink in. They no longer feel like a huge chore after you struggle through them. It's what everyone who has ever lost weight knows and keeps saying it. It's because it's true and you are not some special case to whom it does not apply. Excuses for yourself are what got you into this mess. Whether it's about not getting yourself promoted or not working out enough, not being where you want to be in life or even why you don't even put yourself out there or in any spotlight. It's because your excuses have made you ashamed of who you are and you have been too fixated on why that is rather than trying to do what you know you should have been doing for a while now to change anything.
Wouldn’t it be amazing to be able to socialize and not feel like people are doing you a favor just talking to you or giving you the time of day? Its not some fucking favor, its common human nature and decency to do so. But it sure doesn't feel that way sometimes does it? Wouldn’t it be nice to have something to be proud of, so when people show you respect like they always do, you wouldn’t actually think it's all a lie? I mean you are a good guy, loved and cherished, you have a decent job and you have always done good for others, but then why does it feel like you're a burden? Shitty self esteem that's why. Because you’ve been too much of a pussy to do the one thing that will change it all. Be proud of what you see in the mirror. And the only thing stopping you from doing that, is that you hate that way you look when you stare into the mirror. Have lived with this dark cloud for far too long. Now it's time to take care of it and watch how the rest falls into place.
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