How can I do better?

F18 5'6"-5'7" SW: 230 CW: 217 GW: 160

On mobile

In July I started to seriously focus on weight loss and hit the 15 lb mark about a week ago. I am no athlete, never have been, probably never will be, but I struggle to put the activity I DO have in perspective when calculating calories in relation to my height, weight, age, etc.

My weight, while trending downward, has tended to yo-yo like crazy and I drive myself insane trying to prevent it/level it out.

In terms of exercise, I try to walk at least 5000 steps a day and I'm making the habit of lifting weights at least twice a week. Food wise, I tend to eat 900 to 1400 calories from 1pm to 8pm, with "Maintenance Sundays"(I eat a little more freely, at most 2000 cals) and do my best to get 8hrs of sleep and drink 6+ cups of water.

Heres the part I need help with:

Calculator.net says my BMR is 1700cals. If I don't exercise at all I can eat ~1000 a day and lose 2lbs a week If I say (exercise 1 to 3/week) that number jumps to 1,449. Mayo Clinic comes out of left field with 1800 a day for little to no activity.

When I eat in the range I gave, and exercise, I barely manage to average a lb and a half loss a week, and when I try to make little tweaks to fix random upticks my weight log graph turns into a seismogram. I want to reach 2lbs a week and up to 10lbs loss a month but I can't figure out how to manage that without feeling like absolute nauseous passing-out-when-I-stand-up garbage like I have these past 2 weeks when eating ~900 a day

Weight fluctuates, I get that. Constantly changing how much I take in probably exacerbates it. Obsessing and being impatient doesnt help but it confuses me so much when I cant seem to find a calorie range that actually lets me see consistent healthy downward progress.

Am I "lightly active" or closer to sedentary? Am I eating too much and that's why my weight still jumps up? Am I undereating and that's causing my issues? I cant afford therapy/doctor if it's some sort of underlying mental or medical issue.

Thank you in advance

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