Is this ED behavior or am I fine?

I've been counting calories for a while now (about 3 months) and I do realize it's a slippery slope. The things I see celebrated in some weightloss subs scare me. But that lead me to be extra mindful of showing signs of unhealthy diet thinking.

So right now I don't know if I'm showing one such sign or if im simply overthinking. I hope someone can give me some advice.

The short version of my situation is, I can't seem to up my calories from 1200, even if I tell myself I will.

The long version is, I realized I'm losing way too fast at 1200 and I wanted to aim for 1300 - 1500 calories a day. The thing is I cycle my calories. So to be specific, I aim to end every week at about 10000 calories. But I don't. I stay at 8400 (1200 a day). Something always happens, for example one day I just won't be that hungry and I'd say "ok, I won't force myself to eat, I'll probably be more hungry tomorrow and I'll make up for it", but I'm not and I don't and then it's the end of my week and I end it at 1200/day again. Or sometimes I'll save about 1000 calories and eat very healthy so I can have a "cheat day" at the end of my week but when it comes I don't want to do it because "wow I had such a healthy week! why should I ruin it? I'm not even in the mood to eat junk good" And I honestly don't know if I convince myself or if that's honestly what I feel.

So I'm kind of confused and I'd like some objective input, TIA!

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