I've been waxing philosophical as of late. Its now Mid-April and I started my Journey at Dec 31st. here I am +20lbs later and in the 4 months I've been doing this, 1/3 of the year I have been doing my damndest not to binge eat and gain weight only for me to realize now thats missing the real issue of the problem.
Abstaining from a bad habit doesn't address what that bad habit is making up for. Which in turn increases its value even more. Heres a crutch, now you can't use it. WHY am I over-eating? WHAT is it doing for me? WHAT am I not getting in life that I have to rely on food to be able to live my life? It all seems so pointless right now. Though I hope this serves someone else's purposes.
The trick isn't to stop over-eating, but to get out of life what it is you're over-eating about. For me I need to be around family more. Unfortunately my parents are abusive monsters and my extended family enabled them. I'm in a tricky spot. Maybe this isn't the place to post this but I've found the root that this rotten apple is growing from. I learned back during my studies in Uni that hardcore street drugs like heroin mimic feelings of being loved, even as far as users describing it as feeling like "being welcomed home" or "getting a great big, warm hug" or something to that affect. Food is my addiction and its because I don't feel loved.
At some point in my formative years when I didn't even understand I existed, I still carry the feeling of crying out to be loved, only, I presume, to have a giant milk bottle stuffed in my mouth to make me stop crying. I've been reliving that emotional memory in my adult life. I cry out "I want to be loved!" and the only way I know to meet that need is to eat. Maybe thats why people get sleepy after a warm glass of milk, but I digress. I don't see a way forward.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2UwyDCS
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