I know I need to lose weight. I’m about 1.5 stone over a healthy weight to get pregnant. I never lost the weight from my first pregnancy and I’ll explain why and how and what I feel is stopping me from losing weight now.
Three years ago I had a baby. I was at the time losing weight also and successfully. I was eating healthy and walked to work (1hr good pace) up until 8 months pregnant. I put on minimal weight when pregnant, about 1.5 stone, and after I gave birth I moved five hours away from friends and two hours away from family. I moved in with my partners family as we saved for our house. I was a disaster, I had PPD and lay in bed breastfeeding my baby for the first six months. I was miserable and had no motivation for losing weight.
I set up a business when my son was 8 months old. It’s going well and there’s 6 of us on the payroll now.
So now our son will be three this year and we want to add another kid to our family. But I’m still my post pregnancy weight.
Between the stress of moving to a strange place, PPD, setting up a business and working crazy hours to keep it going and make it a success to where it is now running by itself for the most part I just never lost the weight. I’ve gone up and down the scale slightly, for a few weeks at a time if we had a wedding I would slim down but then I would put it all back on.
Now it’s crunch time. We don’t know how long it will take us to get pregnant and we don’t want too much of a gap between kids..
So why can’t I lose weight? I feel like I was unconsciously (now I am conscious of it) sabotaging myself. The thoughts of having TWO kids scares me even though our first is a great child. Managing two kids and a business is terrifying! I’m also scared that my PPD will return even though I now have a very good support system in my local area... myself and partner now recognise the signs of PPD and are probably in a better place to combat it. And we are also building our house which is crazy complicated and crazy stressful.
I want a baby so bad. So so bad. But the above issues seem to outweigh that, or the fear of them.
Has anyone been through anything like this? Has anyone any ideas of how I can stop sabotaging myself??
Thank you
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