There’s a kind of popular masochistic self talk that I’ve seen people use to hype themselves up to lose weight. It goes like, “Hey you lazy piece of trash, what are you doing sitting around? Abs won’t make themselves on the couch.” Or, “Do you want to stay ugly and fat forever?” While this might work at first, this negative self talk can lead to inner resentment, bitterness and generally poor outlook on life. You’ll end up hating yourself, which is the exact opposite reason many of us try to lose weight in the first place. You also won’t be invited to parties.
We All Have a Past
What made you want to get in shape in the first place? Was it hating the way you looked in the mirror every morning? Was it getting rejected by the girl you liked? Was it getting sick of being the butt of jokes everywhere you go? For me, it was all three, and growing up as a fat kid was a struggle. It was hard to haul myself out of bed and live another day in a body that was essentially a magnet for hate. When people’s first reaction to meeting you is to hate you or make fun of you, it’s hard not to think that something is inherently wrong inside. The last thing you need is more ill will from yourself.
Mistakes Happen
Have you been uber strict on your diet only to give in to the sight of a juicy cheeseburger or chocolate cake? Your first reaction might be to feel guilty and shame yourself, but try to hold that thought. Losing weight isn’t the easiest challenge and sometimes you’ll stumble. That’s okay. You weren’t the first and you won’t be the last person to cheat on their diet. Accept that you shouldn’t have veered and try again. Making mistakes is human and spending time shaming yourself will only waste time and make you feel worse.
So What Should I Do?
Think of your best friend. Got it? Okay, now imagine if they were overweight and trying to slim down, but they stumbled. What would you say to them? I’m guessing it wasn’t something like, “You lazy piece of trash…” and more like, “Hey, it’s okay, don’t worry...” And this is exactly the way we should speak to ourselves. Treat yourself like you’re your best friend. Cheer yourself up when you’re feeling down, encourage yourself to be the best and be kind to yourself if you miss the mark, especially when you’re trying to lose weight. Spending time in guilt and misery will only waste time and drive you further away from your goals. Instead, you need to be the friend you’ve always needed. One that will keep you from ruminating on your failures and encourage you to keep trying. One that won’t insult you and make you feel worse. One that will be there through the successes, the failures and the utter confusion when you’re keeping track of macros and calories. One that will tell you you matter whether you’re fat or not, but you should still keep going.
So if you’re going to talk to yourself, don’t be a jerk. Be a good friend.
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