About a year ago I made some grandiose post about losing 85 lbs and changing my life forever. I went from 250 to 165 - 5'7". Lost it doing CICO and weightlifting. (I had to delete the account do to some trump nut finding my personal info and threatening me for other reasons)
I gained about half of it back over the fall/winter. I was in denial about my pants no longer fitting. Told myself the weight was "muscle" despite never going to the gym.. had a reality check when I hit 200 again. I paid for a photoshoot for my band and couldn't use any of the photos.
What caused this:
-
I became complacent in the maintenance phase. I felt like I had "made it" so yeah, I could drink a bunch of beers, I could eat a bunch more hotdogs... it's summer! and I mean I see fit guys do it.. Powerlifters eat a ton right!? I justified so many bad decisions because I stopped paying attention to what I was eating.
-
I became depressed. My mental health started to slide. I got really stressed about money and my struggling music career over the last year. Depression has never been this bad, I've finally talked to my doctor. But I ate sometimes 4 xl pizzas a week trying to cope. Barely left my bed.
-
I started dating someone who's a bad influence. I really like this girl. I feel closer to her than any other person I've dated. But she's a full on alcoholic. She also has pretty bad mental health.. Never exercises. Proudly says things like "I've never gone for a run in my life" Constantly wants to order takeout/eat chips/lay in bed all day/get drunk. Somehow she's not obese.. I honestly don't know how. I'm not sure what to do about this. I like her so much. On one hand she is the one who has supported me at my lowest but I can't let my physical health go. She tells me she's supportive of the changes I want to make. But then comes over with pringles or a pizza, looks at me coyly and says "oops." I try to tell myself I don't need to eat it.. but my GOD is that hard to do.
My birthdays coming up. It's so discouraging that I'll have lived another year as a fat person
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2HqKRp0
No comments:
Post a Comment