23f 5’0 130 lbs No one takes it seriously when I say I have a seriously bad relationship with food- mostly sweets- because I’m relatively thin. However, I only stay this thin because when I’m not binging on desserts I’m very careful about what I eat. I count calories, I count macros. I track my food. I eat lots of veggies. I know EXACTLY what I should be doing - and I do it.... until I pass by the vending machine at work and buy a candy bar. Or someone brings in a box of doughnuts (people bring food in to the office all of the time). Sometimes there are free lunches at work with free desserts provided. It’s great, except that I can’t stop myself from taking multiple pieces of cake, pie, cookies, cupcakes, doughnuts, anything. When there were several doughnuts left over at the end of a day once, I had five. i don’t know why I do this to myself. Sometimes it’s like a compulsion. The more stressed or emotional I am the worse it is, as well. I know there’s an emotional eating component to this.
I workout 7 times a week, I know how I should eat - I shouldn’t have trouble hitting my goal weight. It’s just that I can’t seem to stop myself from binging on sugary foods. More than my weight I’m also worried about the long term health consequences of all of this sugar.
And so I’ve been trying to figure out how to break this cycle. What’s worst to me is that when I am doing good, my coworkers will sometimes sabotage me on purpose. Last week an email went out that there were free doughnuts out front. I was trying so hard not to go out and grab one, and my supervisor commented how strange it was that I hadn’t had a doughnut yet. I told him I was trying not to give in and eat one because I want to eat healthier. Five minutes later he and another coworker walked in with a doughnut and put it on my desk in front of me saying, “come on, just eat it.”
Two weeks ago, there were extra cupcakes leftover from some lunch event and one of the secretaries came and put the entire box of them on my desk saying I should eat the rest. As she did so I thanked her but told her I didn’t want them. She brushed it off and left them with me.
Something in me has to change, because there are free sweets all around me (and a cheap vending machine) at the office and that won’t change. I don’t keep this stuff at home, so it’s really only an issue at work.
I just don’t know how to break this cycle. Any advice?
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