I wrote this over several different sittings so it would be more representative of where my headspace was along the journey.
Where to begin So like 7 years ago I went from like 350 to about 230 meant to go further but didn’t. I gained most of it back again slowly at first but as a depression took hold started binge eating for comfort again and found myself in horrible shape. About a year and a half ago I decided to quit drinking because I didn’t appreciate the alcohol industries lobbying efforts and political influence.
Feeling better but still fat nine months ago just kinda got sick of myself and habits and with very little plan started starving myself. It was exhilarating at first; I was practically suicidal so why eat. On like day 2 or 3 I got the idea that if I just ate super healthy foods when I would inevitably have to start eating again I would get used to them. Anyway at day five of my water fast I decided it was time to stop because in addition to feeling tired and achey from my fast I began to get a little light headed. I stared by mostly just eating 2 or 3 potatoes everyday with some salt pepper and butter. This to was obviously not sustainable so I figured it out after like a week.
The Plan: I walked to the far coffee shop where I would really figure out a plan and start changing myself. I remember coming to this subreddit and reading about a lady who decided that she was finally had enough failing without CICO and was just going to track her calories for the rest of her life and that was fine with her. Even though I hadn’t started that was oddly inspiring because I was always afraid I would just gain it back. (Still am) I knew that I could track my calories, I could develop a new weird obsessive ultimately positive habit. I found the barely used LoseIt app on my phone from years ago and even bought buy in price or whatever. Then I ordered a scale online. A couple days later I found my actual wait to be 321. This was after all the starving myself. What ultimately worked for me is CICO. I live alone and have easy access to a super market. Controlling what I eat is just be a matter of making good choices about food and portions. As time went on and the pound went off I started exercising more. I’ve had an AppleWatch for about 18 months but have only started consistently closing the rings for the last 7. I do use it to figure in to my calorie tracking app but I find it wiser to ignore most of credit I get from exercise. Speaking of exercise; mine is way more fun than yours. I’ve been trying to become an expert at Beat Saber for the vive since I started this journey and now I am. My average session is just about 30 minutes but Steam says I’ve got about 85 hours. I think there is a part of me that loves getting in shape with video games just to spite how my dad was during my childhood. I put tighter a little video here that shows me rocking out to California Gurls HERE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yizbb9aKpyg Not really my type of music but I thought it would be funny. Clearly I’m enjoying myself though, but not anymore after listening to it 400 times while making the video. I also have been doing a lot of running. At first i just ran really slow 5k s but I was at about 280 so it defiantly counted. I have sort of been training for a marathon now and my regular run is a half marathon every week and a half or so. I in completely exhausted afterwards though. This morning I did something unusual for me; I went for speed. I ran a 5k in 32 minutes. I had a pace of about 10:38 per mile. That is faster than the fastest mile I ever did in high school which was about 11 minutes. That is the period in my life i had always pointed to as when I was in my best shape.
What I’ve learned.
I have a really hard time with compliments. I work in customer service so I see a lot of different people over and over again. Literally one in five customers needs to make a compliment. I have noticed that it is less frequent once I am slimmer than themselves. I even shaved my head and beard hoping to be less recognizable. I definitely have some baggage. For some reason I don't connect with the fact that a lot of other people struggle with their weight, for me it's a personal battle. I really hate the question how much have you lost. I know but I am not telling you. It's equivalent to asking me how much I weighed when I was fat. The exception is if I know you were morbidly obese or are currently morbidly obese I am happy to talk to you. Some people I work with is suddenly super interested in talking to me because I lost bunch of weight; they themselves are only like 10 pounds overweight. To me that is an entirely different thing. Perhaps we both have body dysmorphia though. Even though I am still pretty overweight right now everyone my size or smaller looks skinny to me
Here are the pics https://imgur.com/a/nml5iVP
Noticed
I’m silly excited but I think it's best if I don't tell anyone: no one notices. @340-310
My face is definitely changing in a few people are starting to comment. @~310-280
My AirPods seem to connect better because they have less fat to go around. @~280
My phone no longer recognizes my face awesome new scale victory. @~275
Where’s my ass cushion, every wide enough chair isn't automatically comfortable anymore. @~260
Rubbing and massaging my body a lot now that I can feel it’s innards, so weird @~250
The amount of calories I can eat is getting depressingly low but onward. Oh shit it's Christmas, okay Christmas, then onward. I was still under my cal limit for the week but for the first time allowed myself a few cheat days@~230
I bought these ridiculous tight shorts for exercise when I lost weight last time that never quite fit me. Now they fit me, and I just ran 11 miles in them.@~220
I got sick after the holidays but only for two days. My last cold when I was fat lasted a week and a half.@~218
My phone seems way more vulnerable in my pocket its horizontal in my pocket against my now skinnier leg. I used to have a built in shock absorber. @~218
Not recognizing myself in the mirror or reflections is a weird common occurrence. I catch myself checking myself out all the time it probably looks vain, but it’s really just weird to me. @~215
When typing part of this while lying in my bed I had to stick out my stomach to keep the keyboard level on my laptop.@~207
My body is hard now. I used to be able to slam into things using my weight to great affect. Now If I attempt such tomfoolery it just hurts and I am at greater risk to damage what I am slamming into. Like doors or large movable loads. It's hard to explain but it seems like I just don't have the same finess anymore.@~205
I have way more energy just mainly because I am lighter. Unfortunately that comes with the side effects of me not being as coordinated in my new body. @~200
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2JNAf6a
No comments:
Post a Comment