Thought I had built a healthy relationship with food, had myself fooled. How to start?

So I used to be pretty big, ~320 lbs, and I've lost a lot of weight. I'm now at ~185lbs and am pretty active... gym 3 days a week and 5k run twice a week. In my friend group I'm looked at as the "fit" one. I feel pretty good about the progress I've made, and what I'm about to talk about in no way detracts from that but I've realized something...

While I was counting calories and macros I was pretty totalitarian with my food intake. Perfect stats or bust. It got me to where I wanted to be physically, but mentally I've realized that I still struggle considerably. Any time I stop counting calories, for even a day, I end up massively over eating. Likewise when I drink a bit and my inhibitions are lowered I'll eat an insane amount, but always after I leave whatever group I'm hanging out with. Even drunk me feels like I need to do it in secret.

I've realized that through all my counting I was controlling my binging, but not necessarily moving towards a healthy relationship with food. I was just changing the disordered behavior from one problem to another. For people who have redefined their relationship with food successfully, how did you start?

submitted by /u/putrified1
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