A month ago, for the first time in my life (24F) I decided I was going to start dating.
First date was nice enough. Nothing special. The 2nd guy I started talking to I really, really liked. We had a lot in common. For the duration of about 2 weeks we texted, called and video chatted all day, every day. I did no effort to hide my size. (245lb/111kg, 5'7) I had shown him full body pictures.
But when we met I could see the look of disappointment in his eyes. The rest of the night he barely looked at me. He ghosted me and it really hurt. He couldn't see me for who I am, despite our long phonecalls.
My self esteem is lower than ever. I recognise that rejection is a normal part of dating, even for regular size people, but I need a confidence boost. And I'm getting it. Two years ago I lost almost 45 pounds and was more confident than ever. I was still overweight, but I felt good. Due to bad mental state after starving myself excessively I gained it back very quick. Made some failed attempts to get back into CICO but i've only managed to keep about 11lbs off.
Now, I can't get weightloss out of my mind. I've been tracking with vigor. I've been exercising. A familiar feeling has boiled up inside me, though. I recognise it from the last time.
Thank you for not seeing my worth, asshole. I'm going to be so much better from it.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2FWujoC
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