I am 29 years old, F/5’8/235lbs. I am setting a goal for myself to lose 100 pounds in about 15 months. I have a pretty solid plan that accounts for my lifestyle and my mental health, and I know what to do and how to do it, but I can’t shake the fear that this will be yet another failed attempt. I need advice for how to stop self-sabotaging.
I have been overweight or obese since I was 12 years old. I have a complicated relationship with food, and I have always treated eating as a leisure activity rather than a necessity. The only time in my adult life that I have been at a normal BMI was when I was 20-21, and that only happened because I was broke as hell and smoked like a chimney. I quit smoking several years ago, and I have been obese ever since. It got particularly bad about a year ago, when I had an extremely painful episode of sciatica that made it excruciating to stand up for any length of time. For about 3 months I relied on fast food, because it literally hurt too much to shop or cook, and I barely moved at all. During that time I went from 200 lbs to 230, the most I have ever weighed in my life. I think the guilt and depression got to me and I have just been stuffing my face with sweets ever since. I didn’t really realize how bad it had gotten until I saw myself from behind in a store security camera. It almost made me cry.
I am so ready to eat healthfully and feel better in my body. I’m ready to get active and become stronger. I plan to do intermittent fasting from 7:30pm to 11:30am every day, eat healthily and log my calories for lunch and dinner, introduce jogging/weight lifting 3 times a week, and increase the intensity and frequency of my yoga practice. I am going to journal every day to keep track of how I am feeling and hopefully stop any issues before they begin. I feel like it will work this time... but I felt that way last time I dieted, and the time before, and both times I never got under 190 lbs. Last time I quit because I hit a plateau, convinced myself that it was because My Fitness Pal has inaccurate calorie information, and stopped logging, then just stopped trying altogether. The time before that I was actually doing really well, until we had a hard day of moving furniture to a new place and I let myself get a hamburger and a shake as a reward and literally completely fell off the wagon immediately (damn you Cookout).
I really want this to work this time. I am ashamed of my body and so unhappy with what I have done to myself. It’s affecting almost every aspect of my life. I know I have to just knuckle down and get it done, and I am certainly going to try. But I would really, really appreciate any words of wisdom from the community here so I can begin this journey as emotionally strong as possible!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2PVLFT4
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