It feels like every week, or every couple of weeks, I am telling myself "Today! Today will be the day! Today I will start over and I will succeed!" Some times I get to the end of the week, sometimes I don't even get through the whole day.
Over a year ago I did good. I got Nutrisystem, and I subscribed to Daily Burn. Every morning I did my Daily Burn exercises for about 30 minutes, and I'd walk at lunch for another 30 minutes, and each day I would eat my perfectly portioned Nutrisystem meals. I went from 338 down to 298, losing 40 pounds!
I couldn't really afford Nutrisystem anymore, so I cancelled it. I figured I'd gotten the gist of it, so I got MyFitnessPal and started counting calories instead. But the holidays came and I fell off the wagon, gained most of the weight back.
I tried again a few months ago, got MyFitnessPal, counted calories, went for walks, and got back down to under 320. Then just gave up again, and gained it all back.
Since then I've been yo-yo-ing to the extreme, and it's taken it's toll. Every week or so I tell myself I'll do it this time. I log my food for a day or a few days, and then just give up. It seems like every attempt just ruins my self esteem more and more. I was doing so good the first time, and pretty good the second time, I saw results, I know it works. I know what I need to do, but for some reason haven't been able to drum up enough motivation to keep it going.
Even though every time I start anew I lose weight, it's easy to lose weight when you're over 300 pounds, just cut back calories a bit and watch the scale go down practically a pound a day at first (water weight) and then a steady 1-2 pounds a week. There's no doubt in my mind that it can be done, that I know what to do, but I can't stay on track, I can't stay motivated.
Today I decided to take a slightly more spiritual approach, even though I'm atheist. I spent some time this morning meditating, and imagining myself doing good, and I decided to fast today. I've got my jug of water, and plan to stay hydrated all day, to get plenty of water. Its 24 ounces so I figured I'd drink it all before noon, refill, drink it all before the end of work, refill and drink it all before bed. I thought maybe if I start tomorrow feeling fresh, feeling clean, feeling like all the junk has been washed out of my system, maybe I can be in the right mindset to really do this.
TL;DR: After a couple attempts to lose weight that went really well, until I gave up, I've spiraled into months of yo-yo diets that have taken their toll. I want to start again but don't know how to maintain motivation for longer than a few days.
Tonight after work I'm going to the grocery store to get food to meal prep healthy for the rest of the week.
But I'm worried that this will be just the start of another yoyo. I don't know what to do to get my motivation back and to make this time different. Please help. I will read and appreciate any and all advice.
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