TL;DR: A heart attack scare has terrified me so much that practically overnight I've changed my lifestyle and eating habits and am down a few pounds already.
I've always been fat, but in the last few years I got a cushy office job, and more independence, and gained a lot of weight. My heaviest was 338. In the past few years I've yo-yo dieted so much it's taken it's toll on my body. Everything sags, everything aches. I will lose 20-40 pounds in a short few months, then gain it back even faster, then lose it again, and it's really messed up my body, my mind, my emotions and my life.
A few days ago I felt chest pain, and it kicked off 3 days of living in constant terror that I was about to have a heart attack. I should have gone to the doctor before I did. On the morning of the 3rd day I woke up, feeling a bit of chest pain, and had a massive panic attack. I was getting out of bed, headed to the bathroom, terrified, with trouble breathing, and suddenly I was dizzy and then I was on the floor drenched in cold sweat waking up from passing out. I drove myself to the doctor and found out that I had high blood pressure, borderline diabetes, and while the pain in my chest wasn't an oncoming heart attack but just muscle pain (I had helped with a physical project at work that had a lot of lifting over my head using chest muscles almost never used) a heart attack was a possibility.
It terrified me so much. The doctor said my blood pressure wasn't high enough to warrant medication yet but it was right on the edge. Likewise I was borderline for diabetes. He said I needed to change my life, and for the first time it hit home.
I've always known in my logical brain that I was killing myself. That every bowl of ramen and ever greasy cheeseburger was leading to the possibility of a heart attack before 40, but though I knew that in my brain, I didn't believe it. Not enough to do anything about it.
Well... after spending 3 days terrified I was about to die any second, then being told by a doctor that while I'm not having a heart attack, it's a real possibility.... I sure as shit believe it now.
I came home and packed up all my food. I threw out all my high sodium lunch meats, and any opened box of prepared food I threw out. Everything unopened and non-perishable I loaded into the car and dropped off at a food bank. When I left the house that day my fridge, cabinets and pantry were empty. I went to the grocery store and I stayed almost entirely in the produce departments. I got vegetables, fruits, nuts, whole grains, non-canned beans, lentils, and rice. I didn't get any bread, any pasta, or any prepared food. I got lean meats, white meat chicken and turkey, and fish, eggs, milk, and a small bit of low sodium shredded cheese.
Now my new life has begun, and I feel like this is how I will finally beat this thing. I'm not counting calories, that has never worked for me. I find it restrictive, and it just makes me feel like its temporary or a punishment. Instead I am exploring new recipes with fresh ingredients, I am focusing on making sure I get plenty of fiber, enough protein, and not too much sodium, sugar or bad carbs. I am eating when I am hungry, and not eating until I feel full, but just eating until I'm not hungry anymore. I'm making smaller portions, eating less, and finding things to occupy me when I get the urge to snack. I bring healthy snacks to work and leave my wallet locked in my car so I wont be tempted to use the vending machine.
And I created a kind of ritual for myself. Every day I get into bed with a journal and a hot cocoa (my little daily cheat, a 90 calorie keurig hot cocoa) and I write a journal entry about how I did that day, and how I feel physically and mentally. And in the morning I write about how I feel that morning, mentally and physically. And I plan to only weigh myself once a week. But honestly I'm less concerned with the numbers on the scale and more concerned with how I feel and the non-scale-victories and goals I have.
And I feel with every fiber of my being that this time I'm going to succeed, because this time I'm not entering into this thing with the mindset of trying again, or of starting a new diet, or of beginning another temporary thing with a temporary goal. Instead I have more a feeling like I've created a lifelong change, that this is who I am now.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2EjNpVc
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