F18, SW: 370 CW:362 GW: 170 Now I'm not some hippie guru or anything like that, but I've have great luck with meditation to combat binge-eating. I have a binge-eating disorder and with that, along comes a little voice in my head. "Eat more!", "You can eat less calories for dinner!", or the most popular mantra I've got going is, "You've already wrecked your day, might as well dig in."
This leaves me indulging, feeling so awful and makes me hate myself even more. But lately I've been spending more time with myself. Maybe I'll be idly drawing in my sketchpad or listening to music in bed- either way I'm not eating. Not only that, but I'm spending time reflecting on myself and it's so hard to do that. I've been obese my entire childhood, my entire adolescence, and I've had low self-esteem from that. Being with myself is almost as unbearable as getting on the scale to chart my progress.
But like with everything, it gets easier. Being me gets easier. Loving myself gets easier. I have thought some horrible things about myself, worse than anything anyone could ever say to me. I still do think some of it. When I meditate, and I don't have to sit crisscross on a yoga mat to so this, I get to know me and knowing me inspires me to treat myself better. I sympathize with myself. I treat myself like I'm worthy and it's like I'm finally realizing I've been worthy all along.
If I can leave you with a thought, let it be this. You are so much more than what you think. If you're unemployed, you're still you. If you're overweight, you're still you. If you have an eating disorder, a mental illness, a disability of some kind, you're still you. You should get to know yourself deeply. Don't just look at your flaws, look at your accomplishments, look at your scars, look at your tears, look at yourself. Hear your voice. Feel what you feel. Don't be ashamed of yourself anymore. We're all recovering from something.
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