I’ve been going through a hard time this summer. Just feeling like I have no control over anything in my life. I’ve lashed out at people I love and have holed away for days because I don’t want to see anyone.
On about July 3rd I decided, no, I have control over my body. I shouldn’t sit around and be sad over my weight (at the time 120) when I can start being healthier and reach a goal weight and better state of being. So on July 5th I started a routine of exercising every other day for at least 30 minutes (free weights) and walking whenever possible. I also have been counting calories.
As a 5’2” girl it’s already REALLY hard to lose weight. I’ve been trying to eat around the 1200 mark since I know that’s the minimum I need to stay healthy and not starve my body while also being the lowest I can go to create a deficit (my BMR is something insane like 1400 kcal :( ).
I’ve been tracking my weight trends and eating clean and I know how my weight normally fluctuates. For the first few weeks everything was good, there were spikes and all but overall my trend was towards my goal (~106, I have a small body frame). However for the past 5 days I’ve been consistently gaining half a pound a day and I know this isn’t normal for me. I’m now 117.2 and I was 114.8 and going down before this started. I just need reassurance because I feel like I can’t control anything. That’s like half of my weight loss gained back even though I’m working so hard. I’m not above crying over my weight and I know that seems pathetic but I just feel kinda hopeless. I’m tempted to either give it all up or straight up start starving myself...
This is what I know: -I always weigh myself in the mornings without clothes and before eating / drinking -I count my calories VERY carefully, and I NEVER cheat. -On days when I’m too far below 1200 I make sure to eat more food to reach 1200 so my body doesn’t panic -I drink ~64 fl oz of water every day and only water -I eat good proportions of proteins, carbs, and fat, and I use the MyPlate app to do it -I don’t feel bloated or water weighty at all, so I don’t know where the weight is coming from so quickly and so much -In the case that it could be water weight, I’m not over or undereating sodium and I drink a cup of green tea every day -this isn’t when I would normally gain water weight for my period and even when I do it’s for maybe 2 or 3 days and then it’s all gone -it’s PROBABLY not fat because I’m on a deficit. I guess it’s possible that my body is panicking and snatching up fat but even then I don’t eat enough fat in a day to gain this much weight from it -I don’t eat a crazy amount of carbs so if any of it is due to glycogen stores it can’t be much.. -I’ve always been muscular and if anything I’ve lost some muscle weight so that can’t be it. additionally, I would have seen the weight gain much earlier on than 5 weeks I feel.. -there is a 0% chance I’m pregnant.
Please help. And please, please don’t tell me it’s a dumb thing to worry about. it ruins my day and my self esteem every time I look at the number and see it has gone up.
I really don’t think my scale is broken, but at this point I hope that’s the case.
If this is a plateau (a stupid, horrible plateau where I gain weight :( ), which I already don’t know about because I’ve BARELY lost any weight at all, how can I get out of it? I tried having “cheat meals” to reassure my body that I’m not starving which could sound dumb I guess but it has helped me before.
There could just be something I’m not seeing, and if so I would love to know about it. I feel like I’m going crazy.
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