Maintained for a year (in the bad way)

(About) a year ago, I had a goal to lose 1lb a week. I would be hella close to my goal by now if I'd followed that lmao.

But instead I maintained for a year (I went up and down but never more than 4lbs). The good news is that I didn't gain!

Weight loss-wise, the whole year was full of mental anguish. It's not like I didn't fight the whole time. I did challenges and succeeded. I exercised in a gym, which, ew. I maxed out daily calories, that would've otherwise been under; by drinking too much alcohol. I fought and won and lost against binging.

I feel like I am working so hard mentally and have nothing to show for it. I feel like I have coping mechanisms that deal directly with my calories lmao.

And I also feel like I have learned more about the person I am vs. the one I want to be. I've learned I cope in unhealthy ways. I've learned what doesn't work for me, like eff a gym.

I guess maintaining isn't nothing. After all, I went through a lot and to come out the same weight is kinda dope considering 😂. I just want to get to a point in life where my response to stress isn't to throw my weight loss out the window.

submitted by /u/kitapillar
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