Lately, my weight has been going up. I’m 5 ft. 2 in. and I weigh about 220 lbs. I don’t look terribly obese (at least I don’t think I do). However, my blood pressure today is 124/87 (higher than normal) and my resting pulse is about 120 bpm. It’s not healthy. I need to change. If I stand for more than 10 minutes, I literally have to sit down because I start breathing heavily. Walking is exhausting, everything is exhausting.
My doctor doesn’t see anything wrong. My therapist, well, she isn’t the most helpful, but it’s the only therapist my insurance will cover in my area (the other therapists are already booked). Both of my parents do have heart valve issues and arthritis, but my doctor doesn’t seem to feel a need to check me with EKG.
I have had a history with ED (bulimia mainly), it got so bad I had to undergo treatment. I feel like I now must have some sort of form of another type of disorder. My therapist doesn’t specialize in working with eating issues.
I can’t stop eating fast food. Well, I can, but I find it so hard to do. If I work out, I’m in so much pain and my doctor doesn’t seem to think there’s anything to help. Water is the only form of exercise I can do without feeling in pain.
I just want to have self discipline. I want control of my life. I’m just starting my life, this pain I go through just by standing up is so disheartening.
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