I don’t feel like it’s ever going to happen.

Thanks to birth control, endometriosis, and me developing horrible eating habits g habits due to depression, I’ve managed to go from 140 to 175 in a matter of 5 months. I can’t stand to look at myself anymore. I’m getting married in November of next year and all I want is to look nice in my photos. I set a goal. I want to be back to 140 or even lower by the wedding. I know I need to change my eating habits, and I got my gym membership back for after I heal from my surgery for the endo. I have things in place.

I’ve started slowly changing my diet. I don’t have as many energy drinks as I use to. I drink more water. I don’t eat as often. But I can’t control cravings or portion sizes. I’ll even continue to eat even after I’ve reached the point where I feel full just because I don’t want to stop eating. I feel disgusted with myself and I have a hard time believing I’m ever going to reach my goal weight. I don’t have the money to start therapy for the deeper issues. For those of you who started from such a low place, what were some small steps to help you build up? What will make it easier? I want to change, I have to for my own health and mental wellbeing, it just seems like such an impossible goal right now.

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