Hey, college freshman here just trying to do something to get me going again. During high school I was a XC and Track athlete and although I struggled with weight during my first 2 years, my junior and senior years were great. I had a healthy relationship with food, I didn’t eat (nor feel the urge to) sugary foods and enjoyed running, weights, etc. The plan was to keep it going during college. Continue running, continue eating healthy, continue actions that me feel better mentally and physically.
Unlike some of my friends I decided not to compete competitively in college because i wanted to focus on academics more. And frankly getting up at 5 am and running and then lifting weights/swimming in the afternoon definitely hurts the body. Of course I’d heard of the freshmen 15 but I never thought it would be me. I knew what I needed to do, I loved exercising and eating healthy, there’s no way it could be a problem.
Well the first problem was the friends. Or the lack thereof. I’m a month into college and I have nobody I would call a friend. Sure I’m friendly with others, but not close. I’ve never had a problem making friends before and now I just feel like an outsider. I spend most of my time in my dorm room or by myself. And that quickly lead to binge eating.
My dining hall isn’t exactly healthy so I decided I’d buy food and make my own meals. Next thing I knew I didn’t have time or motivation to make a chicken salad or a healthy stir fry. So I started buying prepackaged foods and snacks. That quickly turned into eating in my dorm room. Snack after snack while reading some thesis on some subject. Now I’m not even a month into college and I’m 31 pounds heavier than I was at the end of my track season. I haven’t told any of my friends (they all go to different schools) or family but soon I’ll be going home for vacation and idk what to do.
I guess I just needed to put it out there and make myself accountable again. I’m having trouble sleeping and concentrating in class now which is really aggravating and hurting my academics. And the thought of exercise is revolting because all I see when I look in the mirror, or my splits on the treadmill/watch or whatever I’m doing, is disappointment. I know I “just need to eat healthy and work out. Get in a caloric deficit” I just can’t. Some days are better, I’ll get through most of the day fine, eat a salad for lunch, chicken and rice for dinner. Then when I’m alone in my dorm at night I just starting eating. I eat until my stomach hurts and then I eat some more. I’m just not sure how to fix it anymore.
I guess this more of a rant than a post. Sorry.
TL:DR I packed on a lot of weight during college and I’m struggling to get it off.
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