So, I was in a relationship with someone for over a year. During the beginning of our relationship, he admired my looks and made me feel confident within myself. Over time I would begin to be put down by him possibly because he has a confidence issue. One non fitness example being; every time I would go over to his house, I made sure he was taken care of. I would do his dishes, laundry, cooking and cleaning. All of the food I cooked was purchased by me. I was also a motivational coach, job hunter, and "therapist" for when he needed it. I never wanted him to think that I was just going over there and expecting to have everything handed to me. I also read somewhere to give and expect nothing in return. That is exactly what I did. This went on for maybe 8 months. We rarely went on dates, and when we did they weren't costly because we are both cheap. I think I got fed up with this because I was spending a lot of time and money on him while he never asked me how I was or offered to help me like I did with him. He claimed that his bills were going up because of me. He spent more money probably because I was using the dishwasher laundry electricity more often to clean. Instead of wearing the same shirt 6 times before washing it, his laundry got done regularly. He also went out to eat more during lunch time. He ended up telling his mom that I was a mooch because he was spending more and I was staying over often. I thought repayment for staying over would be too fulfill all of those tasks. He then a couple months ago said that he doesn't appreciate things that provide intrinsic value and would have rather me pay him to come over... All of this really hurt my feelings. I just wanted to be the best I could for someone I really liked. I felt like his parent's perception of me was ruined because of this.
We also went on a vacation to meet his parents and go to a convention. We stayed at his parents for a night and I was super thankful for that. They were great people and I would have loved to meet more of his family. However during the convention I paid for the hotel and all of the gas needed to get to our destination. We drove my car and I had to ask him for some gas money instead of him offering. At this point things were getting on my nerves because of how much I felt like I was getting used. I do not have a job currently as I just graduated but he has always made way more money than me. I thought things would get better as time progressed. I was the first person he had a relationship with.
Ok now to the fitness part. Over time he began to pitch in with things but not to the degree that I ever expended. I thought that he would become more helpful over time as our relationship grew. I was ok with this, as we began to get closer to each other. Then came a point when we started talking about getting very serious in terms of marriage. He brushed it off and told me that was not going to happen and didn't give me any reason why. Later on, a few months down the road, I asked again and again until he told me. I opened pandoras box by getting a shallow response. He told me that we would never get married because I'm too big (fat), and unattractive for him. He said that he'd rather a fitness model. Don't we all get fat and ugly as we age? He has never been confident with his body or personality. I think he may have put me down because of this. He is really into fitness whereas I like to work out, but do not do it regularly. I enjoy going on long walks but always got told by him that that type of workout is useless. He has tried to help me work out and develop a plan for success but it never ended up working out. His patience runs short with everything and I think he expected stellar results quickly. Eventually as time progressed, he would begin making fun of my fat by asking if I was pregnant, poking my fat and doing other mean things. My confidence with my body began to diminish as this happened. He also compared my face and body to people I knew and told me that they were better looking. I started working out because of it and have decided to try alternate day fasting. I had another EX boyfriend who used to take food away from me because he thought I was fat too. This name calling wasn't new to me but this time it hurt more because I really liked this guy. My current body fat percentage is 30%. I stand at 60 inches or 5 feet tall and don't have a lot of muscle. I used to weigh 94 pounds and have a body fat percentage of 18%. I want to get back down to that level for myself. I understand that having 30% body fat isn't safe for a 20 something to have and could lead to diseases later on in life. My goal is to develop a lifestyle that is manageable for my upcoming busy schedule of full time school.
Right now here is my current plan:
Burn 500 calories a day by walking
Eat 500 calories worth of whole foods and protein
What would plan result in? Would I lose more fat compared to alternate day fastning? Advice
How long do you think it would take to get down to my goal weight?
What would you do with this guy?
I have included a picture of myself for your reference.
PS: I know I don't find "gems" so to speak. I am working on figuring out what type of person would be best for me. Being called fat and ugly has been one of the hardest things to get through. I think most of these emotions come from building trust with him and then it getting torn down by name calling and not being physically good enough.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2QrJqZO
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