I'm very proud. This was an unexpected surprise that made me feel really good.
I lost most of my weight from January 2018 - December 2018. December is when I started my new job, and it rippled into several major life changes for me. I really did end up falling back into old habits, but I decided to give myself a break, because even with 15 more I'm still so much slimmer than I was. The issue I ran into was that I kept prolonging a lifestyle devoid of exercise and calorie tracking, and I took off my Fitbit. I lifted weights here and there, but was eating at probably well above maintenance calories daily. It was a comfort for me, and I didn't actually realize what a comfort food is until the last few months. But does dipping everything in ranch dressing really make my problems go away? Not at all. I've also had the intense stomach aches I remember from this lifestyle.
I knew I needed to do something, but I got to the point where I just couldn't weigh myself, because of how much my emotions hang on that number. Honestly this is something I'd like to speak to a professional about when I can. I didn't track my calories faithfully, but I really tried to just eat less, and it worked. I'm back down to my lowest weight as of this morning. After 5 months of fucking around I'm ready to lose the rest of my weight and build some muscle.
This was especially nice, because I've been dealing with a lot of what I've come to realize is body dysphoria. I am a man and an cisgender. However, having a very large chest since the age of 12 has really fucked with me. My first experience of bullying was a girl saying my titties were bigger than hers in 6rh grade, and I've had a lifetime of bullies touching them, and not letting myself wear so much clothing (or honestly even go out and enjoy life) because of my moobs. They're so much smaller now and I love that, but there's still a bit there, and I want it gone. I need to push through, because while I have these big lumps on my chest I won't feel like I've accomplished anything with this.
This turned into a vent, I'm sorry. Anyway, I'm really glad I bounced back, and I'm motivated to keep going!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2El6bdd
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