My goal is to lose 100 lbs, and it seems impossible

I know people have done it, and I know the biggest roadblock to success is myself. Without rambling, I have bipolar disorder which makes being consistent extremely difficult. That along with some childhood things I won't get into, I developed what I can only describe as an addiction to food. That sounds so disgusting, to say it feels like i'm addicted to it, but I am. Sometimes my appetite is so intense that I can't stop eating, and I don't feel full. Sometimes I feel full but my animal brain takes over and I just keep eating anyway because I just want the food. I love eating healthy, I actually don't feel happy eating anymore but it's almost like I'm barely in control. I'm really trying, I don't beat myself up, I just get right back on it. When my mental health is doing good, I'm dropping 10lbs a month and feel incredible. Then a mood cycle comes on and there I am, binging for an entire day and struggling to get back to the gym. Thankfully I'm somehow able to even these times out enough that I maintain my weight and don't gain any back, but I've only lost 20lbs since the end of March. I really need some encouragement and advice, and maybe words from someone who can relate.

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