I am in a long distance relationship and it had been a very long 6 months of not seeing one another in person. In that time I managed to lose 60lbs and even though we video chat every single day, actually seeing me in person and holding me had him in amazement about how much different I looked. I am not going to lie, it made me feel sooooo good! It also gave me some false security...
I have spent the last 6 months losing my weight by counting calories, intermittent fasting & occassionally doing extended fasts (2-3 days). I had control over my diet, it was primarily plant based, reduced sodium and pretty much completely void of added sugars. I assumed I had a very good idea of calories and that I could relax while I am here, not count my calories and not stress about keeping my habits because I thought if the worst thing was, after a month I maintained my weight or gained a few pounds I would be okay. Easy enough to get back on track... The lies we tell ourselves!!
I already knew it was going to be a challenge while here because my boyfriend has a very different diet and eating habits. It started out with eating earlier than I should AND later than I should, then eating dairy, sodium...SUGAR. I didn't calculate a single calorie and I took up daily swimming because "my body deserves to be treated to healthy habits!" Oh boy. I stepped on the scale and was horrified to see I gained 8lbs in 2 weeks!!!! No way could that be accurate. I waited a few more hours & tried again...9lbs!!! 9???? As, IF!! Apparently miserable self loathing weighs an entire pound. Rude.
Soooo I had to have a serious discussion with myself about WTF I was doing and pep talking myself about how this is the kind of ignorant denial that got us to where we were 100lbs ago. Gaining back 9% of what you lost is madness and... "HOLY HELL is incredibly easy to do?" I added. Yes, yes...too easy to do. I didn't need to be eating twice a day, giving myself 2 opportunities to really mess up. I didn't need cheese, it hurts my body to eat it and I really didn't need to feel bloated and swollen after eating sugar. Heck, I especially didn't need to eat all that meat and have it sit heavy in me and make me feel like I had a week of undigested food in me. I know this and yet here I was acting like an addict in a full blown relapse instead of an addict in active recovery.
I wanted to continue my self loathing, eat more bullshit food because, "Why not, we already had an epic failure!!" but I didn't. I put my foot down and declared I was going back on a 3 day fast to correct the damage I was doing & that following that I was going back on my 23:1, no sugar, low sodium plant based diet. I had a goal of losing 13lbs while I was here so I would only have 30lbs to go until I reached 200lbs, I gave myself 4.5 months to do it now I have 40lbs and 4.5 months. Maybe I can blow my boyfriend away again when I come back again in 3 months and be ready to stop shopping at plus sized clothing stores all together, be at my goal or close enough to it & be ready to accept my reward of a trip to Europe to celebrate my birthday.
24 hours into my fast & I was already down 5lbs... There is hope I can be an active recovering addict again afterall.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2YrRGM7
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