After many years of trying and failing, my scale told me that I had met my target; 20Kg lost. This post is here to share the experiences that led up to this in the hopes that it can offer some inspiration.
TL;DR: Found a strong motivation, cut myself some slack, focused on bad habits first, losing weight second, and maintaining a healthy weight last.
Finding Real Motivation
A couple of years ago I was doing multi-day hikes through the Canadian Rockies. Every day I hoisted a big backpack that carried my tent, clothes, food and all sorts of provisions. I carried it up the mountains, through the mountains, down the mountains. The weight pulled on my shoulders. The sun's heat burnt my forehead. My legs would tremble when the terrain got rough. At the end of the day I wanted nothing more than that sweet moment when all the challenges of the day would be lifted off my shoulders, and I could cook a warm meal light as a feather. It was a blissful.
I didn't think much of it, until I came across a backpack weighing hook. Curious, I hung up my backpack, which turned out to be 15Kg. This was exactly the amount of weight I wanted to lose at the time. It suddenly struck me. All this time when I felt so relieved about taking off my 15Kg backpack I was actually still carrying another 15Kg pack on my entire body. The feeling of bliss after taking 15Kg off was etched into my mind after 5 weeks of hiking and I wanted nothing more than to take off the 'second pack' I had been carrying around for years.
This motivation was what ended up getting me through the tough days of dieting later on because the motivation was so real. It was a strong memory that engaged several of my senses in a tangible way. I learned that it is worth spending time on finding a strong core motivation, as it's the foundation of everything that happens after.
Not Doing Everything At Once
Once I had my motivation, I wanted a method. Reading boards like r/loseit and r/Fitness taught me about reducing my caloric intake while maintaining a healthy intake of nutrients. I felt I owed it to my own health to get this right straight away, so I made elaborate diet plans. I installed [insert any calorie tracker app] on my phone to track what I actually ate and was all set to #LoseIt.
Don't get me wrong. This may work for some, or even many. But it absolutely crushed my own chances of succes. Many, many times over several years. Getting it right straight off the bat was too much for me. I didn't know why, until I watched a video by Youtuber Mike Boyd titled Why I Don't Use Tutorials. He explains how the internet is full of these elaborate and sometimes conflicting pre-made solutions to attain your goals. And that even if they are completely accurate, they often discouraged him more than anything. So I decided to drop the elaborate diet plans, drop the calorie trackers, drop everything and just find my own way one step at time.
Addressing Bad Habits First
What I soon realised, was that when I tried to go all-out right away, my bad habits were still there waiting for me when I was trying to lose weight. It took me years to realise this, but making yourself hungry before addressing your bad habits is a bad idea. So I made a list of the key things that made me overeat, and a challenge to tackle them with. It looked something like this;
- If there's something in front of me, I'll eat it. So I put a bowl of treats in front of me at work that I won't touch for a day, softening the triggering effect it has on me.
- Because I hate food waste, I'll eat any leftovers even if I'm full. So I will throw my leftovers away once (or store them if possible), telling myself that overeating is not a way to respect food, and any discomfort I feel in throwing food away should instead be channelled at choosing better portions next time.
That's it. I did not try to lose weight yet. Just to lose bad habits. And the challenges I gave myself were meant to be easy to do once. The hard part would be to do them regularly. I did that for a month. Research has shown that it takes longer to build a habit, but I felt confident and a new inspiration came my way that I jumped on.
Making A Way To Diet
By the time I felt I had my bad habits under control, I chatted with my sister-in-law, who was losing weight very successfully and told me she just ate half of everything. I did worry about how this would affect getting enough nutrients, but I remembered my childhood doctor half-jokingly saying the same thing; "If you want to lose weight, just eat half of everything!". It is too oversimplified for a long-term diet plan. But I wasn't looking for one; I was just looking for a place to start. So I ran with it.
In the following month, I was worried I woud start feeling meek. But at first I actually started feeling more energetic, which I reckoned was because I was eating a lot less trash after I cut my bad habits. Actually feeling for the first time that dieting can make you feel better, I became averse to wasting what little calories I allowed myself to eat on empty fillers. Talking with friends, family and colleagues, I naturally started picking up good advice that helped me get the most out of my meals and it felt great. Some days were harder than others. And some days I did feel meek because I wasn't eating enough. Then I took a step back and made sure I was feeling well.
Finding a New Balance
I ended up losing 20Kg in 3 months. But I had talked with family who lost 20Kg as well, and then gained it all back in the next couple of years. Knowing how much motivation, work and support it takes to lose it, I can only imagine how demotivating it is to gain it all back again. This is a strong reminder that losing weight is not the goal. Losing it and keeping it off is. So I told myself that once I lost my 20Kg, I would only be halfway there, and that I should spend just as much time building a balanced diet as I did losing weight. So now this is what I'm doing one step at a time. The diet has had a detox effect on my palate, which I'm now rebuilding with food that tastes great and gives me energy.
A pinch of luck
After I lost my weight, work got stressful, and I realised that amongst the bad habits I left out the biggest one;
- When work gets stressful I distract myself with food.
When it happened, I had the headspace to arranged a kind of stress-eating survival kit. But if all three habits would have reared their heads at once, I would not have been able to tackle all of them, and probably would have failed. In fact, some earlier attempts to lose weight failed because work got stressful. It's just a reminder that not everything is in your control. You need support from your peers and a pinch of luck. So don't be too hard on yourself if things don't go your way. Give yourself time to recover and find new inspiration.
You may also notice I did not mention any exercise. This is because I have cycled all my life (I'm Dutch) and my current commute gives me 100km per week of cycling. Add to that one evening of fun bouldering with friends, and I'm in a lucky position where I get enough exercise without exercising. For most people, the amount work you have to actively put in to burn calories is disappointing and sometimes discouraging, so take any opportunity that comes your way if it lets you pick up some exercise for free.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2KQPoEo
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