I’m very conflicted about what happened this morning. I don’t think I can call it a victory, but I’m not sure it’s a total failure either.
I’m a horrible binge eater when I’m stressed out, but I’ve been keeping it under control lately. I’ve lost about 6 lbs by consistently eating really healthy and I haven’t binged for about a month.... until this morning. I finished up an absolutely brutal night shift, and couldn’t resist my former “post shitty shift fast food binge” ritual. I went to the same two drive thrus I used to go to, got the same foods, and headed home to devour 8K-10K calories (super disgusting, I know).
I got home, changed into sweats, spread out my mountain of garbage food, and sat down on the couch ready to go to town. The first few bites were glorious, all the warm fuzzy feelings I’ve always gotten from bingeing came rushing back. Then the weirdest thing happened.... after just 3 or 4 bites I couldn’t eat anymore. All that food became insanely unappealing. Not even just unappealing, it was revolting. Suddenly it started tasting awful and I felt like I was going to throw up if I kept eating. So I picked it all up and threw it into the trash, maybe 200-300 cals into what could have been an extraordinary binge.
So, yeah.... not sure if I can call it a victory because when faced with my biggest binge trigger, I caved really quickly. But, I also feel like not actually consuming all of that food was far better than ignoring my body telling me to stop and continuing to shove junk in my face hole. And I think I learned a lesson or two along the way.
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