Since freshman year of college I saw myself rise to the 200s. I guess I got the freshman 20 or more. I was really depressed and decided to do something about it. But.. I didn’t do it the right way. I starved myself by eating less than 1200 calories a day and worked out excessively. Finally, I lost 35 lbs in under five months.
I thought I was happy. I liked the way I looked in the mirror now. Then it all hit me... and the eating habits came back. Over the summer and starting school I gained back all my weight and then some. My relationship with food was worse than ever and I tried to convince myself that I was just better off not worrying about what I ate.
I knew starving myself was bad. So I went in the complete opposite direction and said eating whatever I want is empowering. Who cares what my weight is or what my body looks like. But now I’m back up to the 200s and I’m definitely overweight.
I got into weight lifting awhile back and it felt AMAZING. I was stronger than ever... and my eating habits were still bad. The weight stayed on and even got heavier as I gained muscle.
Finally, I said enough. My goal of this year is not to lose 35 lbs in five months. I know by this summer I’ll probably still have my rolls and that’s okay. My goal is to work on my relationship with food, to be mindful of what I eat and eat enough of the healthier option. A chocolate is okay and I’m not restricting myself like I use to. But I’m also not over eating. Cardio and weights are my new best friend and soon.. I’ll be under 200!!!
I’m very excited for this new journey. Wish me luck!
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