I've been stuck in this depressive mess for over a year now. I feel depressed, I eat to feel better, I get fatter and fatter, which makes me more self-conscious and not want to be around people, which makes me more isolated and depressed. I eat even when I feel full. I feel like a failure and eat to make myself feel better even though I know it doesn't help. I knew full well I shouldn't eat the 2nd portion of Pad Thai last night, I still did it anyway, but this morning I feel like absolute shit. I have to skip class because I'm too afraid I'll just get sick in the middle of it. But I'm so tired of this shit, and the cycle isn't gonna break itself. The 3 remaining takeout boxes go in the trash, I'm taking my dog for an actual walk instead of a 15 minute run around the block at night when nobody can see me, I'm gonna clean up my apartment. the pile of dishes, and my pizza box fortress, it looks like a depressive dumpster. And when my stomach stops feeling like I drank a swamp, I'm going to work out for the first time since my high school PE class (which I mostly skipped anyway), even though I'll probably be coughing up my lungs after 15 minutes of light cardio. 260lbs is as bad as it gets. Wish me luck, I'll be back in a month.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2YvV4X9
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