I feel like I’m going to die.
I’ve been morbidly obese since I was a child. I’m 28. I’m 5’8” and 361.2 pounds. I have PVD, high cholesterol, frequent headaches, body aches and pain. I have difficulty breathing and tire easily. I can’t hold down a job and have trouble getting hired in the first place because it’s obvious I’m no asset to any workplace. I have literally 0.72 in the bank.
I’m depressed. I have thoughts of killing myself all the time. Please don’t tell me to seek help, that advice is pointless to me because my insurance does not cover any therapist within 100 miles of me. I’ve checked and I have no options in that regard. I know I should but I literally can’t, so be aware I know my mental health is poor.
I have low self esteem and am very insecure so that makes everything even worse.
I try to count calories because I can still have certain foods as long as I stay under my calorie goal. I have a little bit and I crave ten times more. I try cutting everything out and I want to die from cravings.
I admit I am a failure but yeah, I feel I will die either to my mental health or my physical health. I see this as hopeless. I don’t think I can change.
Well, thanks for listening. I don’t know what I’m looking for. Just thought I’d post because today was tough and I’m feeling crappy tonight
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