Let me begin this by saying that I love my Mom and I think she did the best she could. That being said, my mom constantly was verbally putting herself down for her weight. She is average sized, not overweight, and not overly thin. I was always a chubby child. By the time I was 12, I was wearing the same size of pants as my mom and it wasn’t long before I was bigger than her. I would hear her constantly say how fat she looked, how she needed to diet. She was constantly approaching me with a new diet we should try together.
The first diet began when I was only 10 years old. We didn’t have a lot of money so the food we made wasn’t all that healthy and ultimately we would fail. This led her to stay the same weight, but for my young mind to develop an unhealthy relationship with food. We would diet together, fail together, she would stay the same, and I would just get bigger. The older I got the more this affected me. Every time I heard her talking about how gross and fat she was, I couldn’t help but think “I am bigger than her, What does she think of me”. I always looked at myself like I was disgusting, to the point that I didn’t even notice my weight climbing significantly because I always saw myself as gross and fat.
I am now 25 years old and have over 100lbs to loose. I am 30lbs down from my highest weight and I think the only way I can get rid of the weight for good is to forgive my mom and look at myself in a more positive light.
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