Sorry if this isn’t the right place for this, I thought about posting to one of the relationship advice subs but they can be really toxic and I thought people here might have a more useful perspective.
So, a few things have happened that make me feel like my best friend isn’t being supportive of my weight loss efforts:
I told her I wanted to lose weight and she brushed it off, not in a negative way, but like it was something unimportant. Very quickly changed the subject.
After not seeing each other for a bit she asked me how I was/what I’ve been up to, and I informed her that I’d lost a few pounds and was making good progress with my weight loss, among other things. She completely ignored it, no response at all, not even a halfhearted “oh, that’s nice.”
The other day I went to get dinner and see a movie with her. She was looking at me quizzically when I ordered a sugar free redbull and a chicken Caesar salad instead of pizza or a burger like I would before, and when the waitress walked away she said “you’re boring” in a snotty tone. It was meant to come off as a joke but it didn’t completely feel like one. Same weird look when I got Coke Zero at the movie theater instead of a regular large coke with my candy.
I have mentioned to her before how my old roommate would be nasty about me trying to eat healthier things, and she acted like she agreed with me and said she wouldn’t judge me for what I eat as long as I don’t try to tell her what to eat (she’s very small and skinny, but her diet is pretty unhealthy. I never say anything about it though). Then she does that.
This probably sounds like nothing, but I know she’s been critical of other people’s weight behind their back in the past, and she’s made fun of people for it to their face like it’s something funny to joke about. I don’t think she means to hurt people by doing that, I think she genuinely thinks it’s fine (maybe because she’s never had weight issues other than maybe being slightly underweight, so she doesn’t know what it’s like at the other end), but I would be hurt if someone said things like that to me and I imagine they probably were, even if they didn’t say so in a serious sounding way. These people were openly struggling with their weight. I think the only reason she’s never done that to me is because she knows I’m sensitive about my appearance. She also recently complimented someone she hates for losing weight, so I’m wondering why she’d do that but not support me, her actual friend.
All of this together is making me not want to be around her, at least not eat around her, but she is my friend and I care about her. I don’t want to cut her off. I don’t really mention anything about wanting to lose weight to her other than those 2 times, but it would be nice if I could come to her for support like a friend should and not have to hide the fact that I’m improving my life.
Any advice on how to deal with this?
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