I remember the words like it was yesterday “stop eating you’re so fat”, “keep eating and you will look like them”, “when you go to bed you stay in bed, do not go to the fridge”. I remember being starved because I had “eaten too much”, all I wanted was an apple, but no, I was already too fat and that wasn’t acceptable. I cut this parent off at age 12, but the abuse I received while they were in my life stuck with me. I have always felt worthless, that my life was not worth the same as another.
When I began to gain weight, it became really easy for me to give up on myself, because that was all I was worth. My mental health deteriorated, I was eating take out three meals a day and I wasn’t getting out of bed if I didn’t have to. This took a toll on my relationship with my partner, my family and my friendships. I gained a total of 21 kilos, I watched the scales up and kept going “oh, there’s another kilo, just give up on yourself already”.
My partner paid for 12 months of gym for me, I went a total of 5 times, he paid over $800 in gym fees for me, and I went 5 times! It started to hurt to sleep, hurt to breathe, hurt to walk.. Then something happened, and something inside of me just clicked, I needed to change.
September 13, 2017 I began my journey, and now, March 13, 2019 I have since lost 25 kilos, I have began “monitoring” what I put in my body, I go to the gym regularly and put myself first. The biggest thing I’ve lost, is my mindset of “I’m not worth this, so I can’t do it”.
— The photo on the left wasn’t at my highest weight, the bigger I got, the less photos were taken.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2F8egm5
No comments:
Post a Comment