Hi everyone! I'm struggling to get back into the swing of things, but there's a bit of rambling I'd like to include. There's a TL;DR at the end if you'd like to skip over to the main issue. :)
So as the title reads, I've been met with little support, unwanted advice, and mockery from my family...and even boyfriend. I know I can be an emotional person, but it just wears me down. I am 20, and have fallen off the wagon for a few...years. And yet, I find myself crawling back to this sub after it helped me back in 2016.
Somehow I stumbled upon it, and was smitten with the positive, encouraging community! Seeing you guys post progress pics and inspirational stories...gosh, it was such a rush of emotions! I was at my heaviest in 2015; I struggle with overeating and have always been a chubby kid. It's so gross, but I remember baking a pumpkin pie from scratch and eating the whole damn thing in less than 24 hours.
Other shameful moments include sneaking leftovers from dinner into my room, and hurriedly shoving it down my throat so no one would catch me. Not even being able to enjoy it, I just wanted to continue eating. Like many of you, I seek comfort in food. Had a stressful day at work? Eat an entire bag of chips in one sitting. Feeling overwhelmed? Treat myself to a sugary blended drink.
Then I wanted an easy way out and reduced my portions to ridiculous amounts. I remember keeping a calorie-tracking journal and using it obsessively; my 'proudest' moment was when I only ate 600 calories in one day. Then I went two days without eating and remember feeling so resilient. On another occasion, I ate a single slice of watermelon for the whole day. When night came, I found myself dizzy one second, and throwing up bile the next. How could I go from overeating to glamourizing the idea of developing anorexia?
I can go on and on, but I know many of you can relate. It's humiliating. To add another layer of difficulty, I have since been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Great!/s So before I continue to share my whole life story, I'll get right to the point. I want to push myself again to eat better & get back into exercising. The entire year of 2016, I was so fit! I would run two miles twice a week, and workout at home. Either doing cardio for an hour, or challenging myself with strength exercises. I would even get mad if something came up and prevented my from doing my daily exercise routine!
And I did all that by myself. I motivated myself to get up everyday and boy, did it pay off! Fast forward to now, my mom and boyfriend have absolutely NOTHING positive to say about my weight-loss journey 2.0. I was raving to my boyfriend a few minutes ago how excited I was to have fruits and veggies---both fresh and frozen---to replace some of my meals, and all he commented on was how fruit is unhealthy. I realize sugar is a huge component of sugar, but I was so hyped and he just shot me down. Meanwhile, he's chowing on beef jerky and chips. This is the most recent time it's happened, and it happens more often than I would like to think. I know I can do this on my own, but geez, a little support would certainly help! It just makes me feel stupid and like I want to revert back to my old habits. But I know I shouldn't do that.
My mother acts similarly. She loves to helicopter over me when I eat something, yet is actually obese and has very twisted information on nutrition. When I brought up that I wanted to get back into running, it was met with disbelief. I don't know, it's just all these little snippy comments from the people who care about me that suck the most.
Do any of you have advice for dealing with unsupportive family? If so, please share because I am honestly at wits end.
TL;DR: Have fluctuated with my weight for a while. Was at my fittest in 2016, and am trying to get back. However, lack of support and snippy commentary from my loved ones is making this challenge harder than before.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2O7gWU2
No comments:
Post a Comment