So last year was quite the weight rollercoaster for me. I was suffering from some really unhealthy disordered eating habits and had gotten down to 109 lbs. before my boyfriend got me to open up about my problem. I started working out less and eating more, and gained a little weight, as expected.
What I wasn't prepared for was hitting a new all-time-highest-weight just nine months later. It's been devistating, but I've been making sure that I'm not headed back down into dangerous territory (mentally).
A week ago, I stepped on a scale again after watching my snack portions and walking every day for about a month and was thrilled to have lost 8 lbs. 8! And most of that was just watching my snacks, not even my actual food!
So fast forward to tonight, and I got my boyfriend to go to the gym with me. Barely was able to run a mile, but I did it, and then used a couple machines. Felt really good, internally, and that helped me decide I want to work out a few times a week again. Nothing that would set me back into an unhealthy mindset, but I know my metabolism needs me to move a little to work. I've also decided to start eating more veggies and cut down on my sweets again. Personally, I can't let myself count calories, yet, so I'm going to work more on what's on my plate, visually, until I see some NSVs.
With these decisions made, I figured I should take some pictures, and they were shocking. I thought that eating more and whenever I wanted meant I recovered from my disordered eating habits, but seeing how I let myself go SO rapidly made me realize I swapped one unhealthy mindset with another. Realizing that was more encouraging than anything, which I find weird.
I don't want to post them yet, but I put on my calendar to take more pictures in two weeks to compare them - and I just have to keep up with portion and nutrient control in the meantime.
I know my ramblings aren't 'inspirational' or anything like a lot of the posts I've seen since lurking, but I know that if I put this out there I'm immediately making myself more accountable for the next couple weeks. When I stick with it, I'll post them side-by-side to see if there are more major changes. I just don't want to obsess over the numbers, the photos need to be my goals for now.
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