Day 0/100 A log of a desperate attempt to overcome food addiction.
Here I am, at the end of the first day. That's something. I want to clarify that I am not counting calories, nor do I struggle to accurately log what I eat. CICO is the only way to lose weight. I get that, but that's the war. I'm fighting a smaller but crucial battle in that war, and that's junk food addiction.
I'm at the end of a long and unsuccessful journey to try to incorporate "healthy" amounts of manufactured processed junk food products into my diet. What is a healthy amount of Cheetos for me to eat today? What about Doritos and Skittles or Chester's Hot Fries or Funyons? I don't know the answer to that question, but I do know that no matter what the answer is, if I eat a little bit of these products, I can't stop until the bag is empty. Kind of like how I felt about cigarettes when I smoked. I couldn't just have one at a party.
I don't buy junk for myself at the grocery store, but I'm not a hermit and I encounter chips daily even without having them waiting in my pantry. I don't go grocery shopping when I'm hungry, but I find myself hungry at the gas station, at other people's homes, at work, at restaurants. And even if I'm not hungry, I'll still eat them when available. Hunger rarely has anything to do with it. And if I start, I can't stop.
I know some of you don't have this problem and I know it sounds pathetic, but it's a real problem for me. Really smart people have calibrated these products to be irresistible and I'm pretty much their ideal consumer. They win. I can't resist. I've spent years now trying to trick myself into having a "normal" relationship with this sort of junk food, but it's not happening and it's making me really unhappy. So I'm just going to give them up. I'm not giving up on all "unhealthy" foods, just the ones that make me feel sick, unhappy, and out of control. And, while I'm struggling with withdrawal, I'm not going to let myself turn to deep fried foods and booze to feel better about and trade in one bad habit for another.
I'm hoping that 100 days of conscience effort will be enough to break the habit. Day 1 is done. I was offered potato chips, french fries, half a fancy fried chicken sandwich, Starbucks, M&Ms, Skittles, and a celebratory after work drink. I said no thanks to them all.
This is what I ate: Breakfast: oatmeal with 1tsp brown sugar, cinnamon.
Lunch: rice, spicy thai coconut stir fry (from budgetbytes-- every one of her recipes is great, https://www.budgetbytes.com/spicy-coconut-vegetable-stir-fry/ )
Dinner: homemade spaghetti with meat sauce
Snacks: cucumber slices with red pepper walnut dip, grapes, hard boiled eggs
If I get hungry again later before I fall asleep, I'll have another egg or an apple with peanut butter.
I'm proud of myself for the day. Thanks for being supportive and for letting me post here, even if I'm not in a place to benefit from MFP and logging calories right now. <3 I promise I'll be back tomorrow.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2TIA00V
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