I lost almost 25lbs in 8 months. First time actively losing weight and it felt empowering. But I've been struggling with body dysphoria.
Last month, my boyfriend and friends/fam have told me that I look smaller but I just couldn't see it. I got paranoid that they were just being nice. I still felt huge. It got worse since the Pokemon challenge finished, I had nothing keeping me excited/accountable.
So for the last 2 weeks I've been eating garbage I thought that since I'm big, I might as well eat like it. I ate cheesecake, muffins, sushi buffet, pizza, the list goes on. And I know it's hurting me because all it's really done is stretch my stomach painfully and made me bloated. Now I'm small-ish but with a bloated pot belly. It also didn't help that I went to the gym twice and instantly swelled up, making my body dysphoria worse.
My goal for March is to reach 130lb, April 125lb and by some miracle 120lb in May. I say miracle because I think 120lb is unrealistic given that I am 5ft1 Bengali (we genetically store more fat) but that I also have very dense muscle mass. Lifting 200lb men no problem. Bicep curls at 25lb back in high school.. Type of muscle mass.
I don't know where I'm going with this. This community has just been so amazing in getting me started. I wanted to let y'all know it's going rough..
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2FvtvFK
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