For starters, here are my stats: F, 23, 5’5”; SW: 172lbs, CW: 153lbs, GW: 135
Hi everyone! Long time lurker, first time poster. I just wanted to talk a little bit about something I consider my own NSV, which is actually being happy about people noticing that I’ve lost weight. I’ll try to keep my story as concise as I can!
I was my current weight, approx. 150+/- 5 pounds, in high school. But after jaw surgery in my senior year to fix my TMJ and only a few weeks of being on a liquid diet, I dropped to 120lbs. It was very unhealthy- I felt starved, I was vitamin deficient, I was cold all the time. And most importantly, I hadn’t learned proper eating habits yet. But I was the skinniest I had ever been. I was so afraid of jumping back up to the 150s and being upset at my size that I took drastic measures to stay at 120- I binged and purged.
This continued through college, and the added stress from academics, 2 emotionally manipulative relationships, and hyperthyroid issues that (I didn’t find out until later) were masked as severe anxiety and depression, there were weeks where I’d completely stopped eating. I felt like I was dying, every day. And my size showed it- I kept dropping pounds, dipping into the 110s. My friends and family would see me and say ‘Wow! You’re so skinny! Good for you! I wish I knew your secret.’ And on the outside, I would smile and say thank you, but on the inside, I thought ‘Please help me. I think I want to die.’ This went on for years.
Finally, in my last year of college, I entered another relationship- one that was (and still is) filled with support and respect and love. Through it, I learned to start treating myself better, both physically and emotionally. I stopped binging and started just eating- but I hadn’t learned healthier eating habits yet! One form of my self-love was eating whatever the hell I wanted, whenever I wanted it, so I jumped up to 160 pounds in a semester! I was okay with it though, because at least I was trying to take care of myself. I finally saw a doctor, who diagnosed me with hyperthyroidism and started treating me. My symptoms went down, thank god, but with it, my weight jumped up again to 172 pounds. But again, I was okay with it, because at least I was being treated.
Now, almost 2 years post-graduation, I’m training myself to practice a more modified version of self love through my health. I’ve been using CICO, IF, I’ve been more carb-conscious, and I’ve been using the C25K app to run. And all of these make me feel happier and healthier than I’ve ever felt. I’m back to my high school weight, and people have started to notice. And now, when people say I look great, I can say thank you and mean it.
If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! Thank you to my boyfriend (if he sees this, hi! I love you! ❤️), my friends, my family, and this sub for providing guidance and support through this journey of mine.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2DULkgI
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