On mobile and can't figure out how to custom flair, so: 24 F 5'5 SW: 279 CW: 281 GW: ~140
I hope this sort of post is ok here.... been lurking for over 6 months.
About the summer of 2018 I started a diet, CICO I believe, if that is calorie counting. I even went to the gym once, a big feat for me with traumatic arthritis and chronic pain in my right ankle. I lost thirty pounds, got down to 250 -- the weight I had been most my life. And then I just... fell off the wagon. I lost motivation. I told myself it was because I had no time to go to the gym, that I would do it after I move. Maybe it was depression, or weak willpower.
The side of my family I take after is all my size and built this way. And I think that that's a reason I should concede to living like this. Give up, learn to love it, etc.
But the biggest reason? I do hate the way I look, but that isn't the biggest reason I want to lose. I don't like feeling bad, but I'm used to it. It's for others, the way they perceive me. I am an extremely relationship oriented individual. And the main reason for me to lose would be to attract a greater range of people. As a lesbian, my dating pool is already laughably small. And I feel like it's even smaller because of my weight, and my attraction to thinner girls.
I've seen so many of your all's successful posts about how you wanted it for yourself so you made it. But I'm a self sacrificing, suicidal individual. That is to say, I don't care about me. I can't change for me. I want to change for someone else. And I don't know how to love me.
How do you love yourself, change for yourself?
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2RZDQlc
No comments:
Post a Comment