Sorry for the rant!!
I’ve done this so many times. Started another weightloss journey, full of motivation and energy. The first time I was very successful and reached a healthy weight within 3 months. I was 18 and had my life ahead of me, sadly I only got 6 months of being skinny before it all piled up again and then some.
After that I’ve tried starting again more times than I can count, and I’ve been sort of successful, but then suddenly a breakup, mental breakdown, depression or something else hits and I fall off the wagon.
Here I am again, doing one month on keto and I am enjoying all the perks, losing some weight and doing well and today I took some pictures and it’s difficult. How do I know if I’ll finally make it this time? And why should I even dare believe it? Allthough it feels easier this time, there’s no cravings, no emotional eating, nothing. But usually this is the moment something comes out of the blue and knocks me down.
I am very satisfied with eating like this, carbs and sugar completely fucks up my body, makes me hungry, makes me feel ill so it’s not the fact that I can’t keep up with the diet. The problem is that when something major happens my brain shuts down and I can’t plan or even decide what to eat. My appetite disappears and the only thing I can get down is unhealthy shit.
I’m getting better everytime, but at this point it feels like a waste, pointless and I hate that I failed that time 6 years ago. Though, I think one of the major changes now is that I have realised that there is no other way, it’s not my diet, it’s not something wrong with my body, it’s all mental and emotional and I have a bigger focus on that this time. Weight is placed further away in my list of motivations.
Are there anyone out there doing this over and over and suddenly succeeding?
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