Hey guys, I’ve posted this before but quickly deleted it.
I am 29 years old, I have been using heroin since I was 22, but I’ve been sober for 9 months and counting! I’ve tried many times but I feel as though I’m finally finished with that shit.
Anyway, I spent 3 months in a low-cost inpatient rehab(in South Africa you best believe this place was basic) they relied on donations so most of the food was carb heavy and high fat(cheap), there was also a weekly trip to the grocery store where we could buy chocolates, cigs, toiletries etc... coming off heroin I craved sugar so I ate very badly for those 3 months; a small comfort while coming off heroin, methadone and benzodiazepines.
I went in at 6’2 and 73kg and I was very lean. I came out at 88kg and was noticeably chubby. I know it’s part of the healing process but it honestly effects my self confidence so much, I really like how I looked while I was using, which isn’t so good for my recovery.
I’ve picked up some muscle cos I lift 4x a week and I swim 2-3x a week (1km). I’ve been doing this for about 3 months since I’ve been out and have been trying to stay under 1500 calories a day, but often cheat. I have lost some weight and picked on some muscle but things haven’t changed on the scale too much. I know that doesn’t always matter but it is what I’m going for. I really struggle to fit into my waist size 32 jeans and 34 are a bit big, so I’m in like an awkward in between phase where wearing clothes is a bit of a struggle.
Other wise though I am so happy to be sober, to be free, now I need to get my confidence back up..
Is anyone else here in recovery and struggling with this issue? I’m happy I’m healthy now but I miss being so lean...
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