I feel/know it’s ridiculous but sometimes I get sad when I can’t eat something. For example right now. My skinny housemate just bought 2 packs of snickers and a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and I’m just upset because I know I shouldn’t have it. I’ve already eaten most of of my meals that my calorie count will allow. I know I could just have it tomorrow or make room but logically it makes no sense to do that. What I eat in a day is good, I eat things like stir-frys, lasagna , ice cream etc.
I think I get upset because I can’t indulge when I want to without doing serious damage (as in gain weight). I’ve said it to my other friend who’s trying to lose weight before, if I were left to eat without any boundaries/self-control I could easily gain a 100 pounds a year. Food just makes me so happy but has also caused me to be trapped in my prison of a body.
The sad thing is this sentiment even exists in my family. For example, I’ve seen my dad cry because I didn’t let him have salted cashew nuts (he was on a diet to get VSG and I was making all his meals and trying to help him lose weight). He started crying “why me, why did I allow myself to get this big” and those words are exactly how I’m feeling now. I ate so much and gained so much weight and here I am now, where I have to watch what I eat and can’t be like everyone else.
It’s frustrating and you probably didn’t need all of what was said before but I was wondering if anyone has these feelings sometimes? And how you get over them?
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